Trying to be somewhat funny, a few old jokes...

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At the rate I'm saving money, I'll have to work till I'm 90 just to live till I'm 80.

When persistence pays off it's called tenacity, when it just ends up spinning your wheels it's called stubbornness.

A man walks into a bar carrying a horse on his shoulders. The bartender says, "Aren't you tired?" The horse says, "No, but I'm a little uncomfortable"

personal note -- I was shaving yesterday and was irritated that it was so hard to see those white whiskers to know whether or not I got all of them. Then I thought to myself that if I can't see them then neither can anybody else. Then I thought to myself, 'Wait a minute. I'm old!'

When I was younger I would hear, "Aaron, reach for the stars. Reach for the stars." I later discovered that many of them have bodyguards that are kind of mean.

They also told me that I could do anything I put my mind to. So I put my mind to proving one cannot do anything he puts his mind to, but apparently I didn't put my mind to it properly because I couldn't prove it.

Actions speak louder than words. That's why pantomimes don't need microphones.

When I was a youngster in Kansas I was treated with colorful rural sayings, more of them invented than simply passed on I believe, and fortunately not repeated often. Once at a farm sale my father asked a neighbor how he was. He said, "I couldn't kick if I was dead." My father laughed. Many months later after still not figuring out what that meant I finally asked Dad. He said he didn't know. When I asked him why he laughed, he said probably just to be polite. Another farmer neighbor worked part time at a gas station. When asked how he was once, he said, "I'm sick in bed upstairs over an empty lot," then he laughed really big. I didn't think it was funny at the time, but now I kind of like it. We often exchanged a few words at the mailbox with the farmer who lived across the road. The prevailing bitter wind in winter in Kansas is from the north. One extremely cold, winter day he told us, "The north wind is always colder when it blows from the south," which it was doing that day. That saying has deeper implications.

Sandwiched between admiration and adoration is admonition.

I think the word, utilize, is overused, and hence the word, use, underutilized.

Just because you should do something doesn't mean you can, and just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.

Growing up on a farm helped me to learn that for every plant there's an herbicide that will work effectively, every plant except weeds.

Finally, I'm in the IN crowd. INept, INcompetent, INsane, ...